Okay, so... I really enjoyed doing my account of 2021 and it got me wanting to write more again so I'm going to start answering a series of questions, just to get the ball rolling again.
Let's start with where I was 10 years ago and it might give me an idea of what I can achieve in 10 years and give me a clue into where I could be.
It's the 5th of January 2012. Exactly 10 years ago. I was 17 years old and 11 days off my 18th birthday. The year before, my best friend got engaged, I auditioned for X Factor, went to Wales for our family holiday, watched Kate and Prince William get married, went to T4 on the beach with Sarah and Lauren, and watched the final Harry Potter film. I was in my second year of college, had many crushes on many different boys and I was in the first year of finding out I suffered from anxiety pretty bad. Unfortunately, I wasn't as extensive with my yearly blog posts as I am now so that's all I've got to go on really.
Who was Becks 10 years ago?
As I've just mentioned, I was an anxiety sufferer who was scared to do a lot for fear of feeling ill and spoiling outings and events for people. I had many friends but still felt like an outsider and had bouts of mild depression where I didn't want to do anything or see people. I wasn't a confident person. I was friendly and happy enough and up for making memories with friends and family (when my anxiety didn't get the better of me), but I was self-conscious and quite a negative person really. I was just plodding along through life, not knowing who I was or what I wanted. I think I felt a bit trapped really. On a college course, I wasn't overly fond of, but Media felt like the next step, seeing as I enjoyed it in school and I loved film and telelvision. Looking back, it was the right step because I wouldn't have some of the people in my life now if I'd not taken that course and I definitely wouldn't have my Canon 60D if I'd not used one on that course. I learned a lot at college and I don't regret it, I just didn't see that while I was there and I was very much ready for it to be over and done with.
If someone had told you back then, where you'd be now, how would you have reacted?
I think I would have liked to believe it but I don't think I actually would have believed it. What I would have been told was: "You're engaged to and live with someone you haven't met yet, but his Dad's family actually own the garage down the road from where you live now. You're actually in a job you love and you've got the best of both worlds- you're doing quite a few hours but because you're starting early, you finish early and you've got all afternoon to yourself. You haven't got your own house, but you're renting one and it's a great house, on a nice, quiet street, and you fell quite lucky with the rent as it's quite a big house for what the rent is. You have a cat called Luna because yes, you still love Harry Potter in 10 years' time. You're a photographer, baker, writer, painter, who still loves reading, watching films, and listening to music. You're a very happy, positive, friendly person with quite a lot of friends. Sarah and you are still going strong even though you live about 100 miles apart (a 2-hour train journey because you still don't drive yet.) and she has 2 little girls now, and she's married to Dean. Your Auntie Susy is now living in Holland! You haven't been to see her yet but you're hoping to this year sometime. That's all I'm going to give you cause you've still got lots to go through and I'm not going to lie, you've got some difficult times ahead but I will tell you this... you're going to be okay. You actually turned around to your Fiance only last night and told him that you're genuinely happy with your life right now, and all that you go through leads you to that night. Good luck Becks! You've got this!"
As lovely as that message was and there are lots to be hopeful for, 17-year-old Becks would have believed the bit about Sarah, the still loving Harry Potter, possibly the photographer cause she was ALWAYS taking photos... everywhere! I was writing back then so that's not hard to believe, and there was no way I was falling out of love with books and films. The house? Yes. The job part... maybe. Back then I had no idea what I wanted to do or be, other than maybe a wedding planner but I was even doubtful of that. I mean, I don't exactly want to be a picker/packer but I enjoy the job, it's easy and as I said, the hours are great. The early mornings suck. If you'd told me I'd be setting my alarm for 4.20am every day then I definitely wouldn't believe you because I used to sleep until noon back then. I would have laughed in your face if you told me I'd be getting up for work at that time in the morning... ha! Not a chance. Definitely wouldn't have believed or wanted to believe Auntie Susy being in Holland but the same would have been said about Uncle Matt moving to Dubai as well. I'm very proud of them both though and it's given me two wonderful places to go on holiday. Luna, I can believe as well because I've always loved cats.
Now, the Fiance would have me dubious, especially someone I didn't even know back then! I was a massive flirt back then and fell in love very easily, or what I thought was love anyway. I must have had crushes on about... 6 guys? Some of whom I probably could have seen a future with but yes, I may have been a flirt but that was all. A relationship or intimacy scared the eff out of me. It would have taken an extra special guy to actually land me, not in the sense that I was too good for anyone, no, I mean I had major trust issues and didn't feel comfortable with guys apart from flirting and maybe the odd kiss caught off-guard. I always said my future husband would need to love me for me. I'm weird, and silly and have my daft little moments and I was terrified of being with someone that was going to look at me and judge me, rather than laugh with me. It would need to be someone who accepted me for exactly who I am. Someone who had similar tastes in film and music, someone I felt completely comfortable with. I wanted to be myself, like and do the things I love, and have that person just slot perfectly into my world. Little did I know, I would actually have that someday.
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, being a baker. Yeah, no way I was going to believe that. I screwed up making cheese on toast back then, no way I could bake something. I wasn't very confident in the kitchen, at all. 10 years later though, here I am, with brownies as a signature thing I do, and today I mastered some cookies after failing the past couple of times. I've done cupcakes, loaf cakes, biscuits, shortbread, rocky road, different versions of each, and the brownies. I love baking and creating things to eat! Painting was the same. I got like, a C or D in art at GCSE so I don't think I would have believed that either.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Okay, so, we're here now. I might do a little prediction thing. Say my 37-year-old self comes to tell me this...
"You're 37. You now have your own home with Aiden. Unfortunately, Luna passed away 3 years ago but Lily, the kitten you're going to get this year, is still here and you rescued a friend for her last year (2031), called Lavender. Yeah, you still like Harry Potter so you wanted to keep to the L's and Harry Potter-themed names. You've got a studio set up in one of the rooms in the house, for your photography. You mainly do portraits. You also go out and do photoshoots on location. You've published one book. You want to do another but haven't gotten around to writing it yet. It did take you a while to do the first one, but it was worth it because it actually did really well and quite a few of your friends love it. You're still at Tesco, simply because it just works so well around everything else. Yes, people still want their food delivered in 10 years' time. Here's the shocker... you've got a 3-year-old boy. Yes, I know you and Aiden weren't planning on kids but it happened and he looks just like his dad. You're still a very happy, friendly, bubbly person and you've had many wonderful adventures in the past 10 years. 2025 was a good year for adventures. And 2024 actually, when you turned 30, what a year that was! Here's the thing that won't shock you... You and Sarah are STILL going strong, making it 30 years of being friends this year in June. You finally passed your driving test in 2023 and you're now driving a... actually, you can wait and see but you're going to love it. I'll leave you with that. You're going to face some pretty difficult times, I won't lie, but that's life I'm afraid. On the other hand, though, you're going to have some really incredible times too! I can't wait for you to go through those good times!! You've got a wonderful 10 years to come. Good luck. You've got this!"
There we have it. That's my answer to the question. That's where I see myself on the 5th of January 2032. I'm very curious as to how accurate that's going to be!
I've really enjoyed writing this so, yep, I'm going to continue with more questions during the month and the new year. Watch this space!!
Becks x
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