2013

Here we go again!!

Out with the old and in with the new, bring with you all the best bits from 2013 and leave all the crap behind :)

Well, another year, another blog post reviewing said year! I'm gonna be honest... 2013 has been awesome!! I have absolutely nothing negative to say about it because even if there has been some low points, I've learnt from those times and things and they've got me where I am today- feeling the way I feel, acting the way I act, doing what I do. 2013 has done me goooood ;)

Let's start from the beginning. By now, you should know that my birthday is in January so yep, I'm now 19! The last year of my teens. Most people tend to be quite sad about that but I'm looking forward to my twenties! This year I have proven to myself that I will be perfectly happy as an adult. My 19th year of my existence in this world has overall been a trial to test me on how I will cope in my next however many years of being an adult and I can happily say I have succeeded in that trial. I know that there will be many other adult related things that I will have to go through in years to come where I will be chucked into the deep end but we don't worry about things until they happen so we won't think about those things right now!

My first proper (kind of...) job started in January as well. All of last year's Summer, Autumn and Winter I spent hours searching for a job and finally! I found one. An apprenticeship working at Penk Insurance. I had my interview with Jenny Penk and yes, I was nervous but it seemed to go well. I got a call that evening from the guy who had helped sort out the interview for me and he said that Jenny wanted to see me again for a second interview. I went back the following week and she went through exactly what the job was and if I was sure I wanted it and yes, it was a job in sales but it was also admin and I'd always enjoyed admin work so I thought, what the hell, I'll give it a go. She gave me the job and proceeded to tell me my hours, days that I'd be working and then what date I'd start.
The hours were tough and it was dark when I got up for work and then dark when I got home as well but I was happy enough. I really enjoyed doing the admin work- photocopying, scanning, e-mailing, sending letters, fetching the post, taking the post, making tea and coffee, filing etc but the sales side of the job I was finding a bit difficult. I've never been overly confident on the phone and these were calls to people who barely spoke English so I'll be honest, I hated that side of the job. Eventually Jenny picked up on the fact I wasn't enjoying the sales and called me into her office to talk about me finding another job. I was upset to say the least but I knew this was the right thing for me anyway. I was also gutted because I loved the people I was working with but you can't stay in a job just because you like your colleagues.

I left at the start of May and it was time to look for something else, preferably another apprenticeship. One at Brampton Manor Country Club came up so I applied, got an interview and if it weren't for the silly hours at stupid o'clock in the morning when I wouldn't have been able to catch a bus for the first shift... I would have got the job. She even told me herself that she would have given me the job if I'd been able to make the first shift on time. I would later find out that it just wasn't meant to be and that something better was to come. This isn't that 'something better' but I found another job and got offered an interview and then got offered that job the very same day. I accepted and was asked to start the next day. I then woke up the next day very ill and unable to start but it also gave me chance to think about it and I realised that I didn't want that job. I would have been stuck in the same situation as Penk Insurance, doing a job because it was a job... not because I actually wanted to be there. I called them up and declined the job.

I got a call the same day as I declined the other job and I was told that there was an apprenticeship going at Jameson's Cafe and Tea rooms in Chesterfield and that I'd be cooking and baking, taking orders and serving people, handling money... that kind of thing, which to me, sounded perfect. I had an interview with the manager, Sarah, and got offered the job there and then. I absolutely love my job!!!! I love the staff, I love cooking, I love baking, I love the customers (now that's saying something...). It's had it's ups and downs and it's had me upset, angry and knackered but I still get up every day, not regretting it at all and actually wanting to get to work. There hasn't been a single day where I've thought 'I really don't want to go to work today!' and I think that when you're able to do that every morning, you know you're happy in your job. I have learnt sooooo much in the 7 months that I've been there, not just the cooking and baking and all the health and safety and stuff that comes with working in catering but I've learnt more about people and the challenges but also the fun of running a business. I've learnt more about relationships and friendships just from the wonderful ladies I work with and I can honestly say that this job and everything I do and everything that goes with the job, has helped a heck of a lot in making me who I am today. I've come so far in these past 7 months and I'm proud of what I can do and who I am. So, I'd like to say a big thank you to all the staff- and also the customers- at Jameson's and I look forward to the next year working with you all.

I photographed a wedding this year. It was bloody hard work but it was soooo worth it in the end. So much pressure and effort goes into photographing a wedding and to do it on your own, it mentally cripples you. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my work and if I'm not happy with it, I end up doubting that anyone else will like it. When you've got the pressure from the bride and groom, to photograph their day and come up with these amazing photos that they'll keep for the rest of their married lives... add on the pressure from myself as well and that I'd be disappointed in myself if the pictures aren't perfect, all hell will break lose if they're anything but perfect. You'll be pleased to know that me, the bride and the groom were all overly happy with what I managed to capture and edit and the bride was so pleased with them that she cried happy tears :) I have now been booked to do another wedding next year, this time I don't actually know the bride and groom but I will also have an extra pair of hands with me anyway so fingers crossed it will be another successful wedding! :D

2013 has been a year of friendship and achievement I think. I'll just list a few more things that have happened this year:-
Met some wonderful new people that have become great friends. Some already great friends brought out an album that is fantastic and I can't stop listening to it! (RockMelon- Hot Signal... just in case anyone wants to check it out!). Ant and Laura had a gorgeous baby girl called Amelia. One of my best friends, James, moved to Leicester to go to Uni and I went to visit him in November. Went on a mini holiday with Fern to Bakewell. One of my boys died, Sage :( So we've just got Dill now. Went to Chatsworth with the Stockdale's, August bank holiday and it was a great day! Got my bridesmaid dress ready for Sarah's wedding next year!! and also, I experienced the first death in my family- my wonderful Great-Grandma sadly passed away at the age of 90 back in February of this year, unfortunately on my brother's birthday as well. She was a lovely lady and had a great life and will be missed by many! Rest in Peace Great-Grandma xxx
That's everything for now but I'm sure I'll end up adding things on when I remember them.

So, all in all, as I said earlier, it's been an amazing year for me. I don't tend to say all that new year, new me stuff cause I'm perfectly happy with 'me' as I am! So instead, I'm gonna go with- 2014 is going to be a year of development. I'm going to develop the skills I already have, I'm going to learn more about things I'm passionate about and also things I just want to know more about and I'm going to develop the friendships I already have too because I adore the people in my life at the moment and I know there is lots more to learn about all of them :)

A big thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout the year, anyone who has made me smile or laugh, given me a chance and given me an opportunity and anyone who has just been a part of my year. I'm incredibly blessed to have the friends and family I do so just thank you everyone, for being you! I hope that 2014 is a year of good health, achievements, love, surprises and smiles for you all. Make it a good one xxx

Being a Photographer...

It was the beginning of 2012 and I'd decided for my birthday that I wanted a camera so, a camera I did get! A Fujifilm S4000 which has been a lovely little camera to start things off and although it has been very temperamental and has misbehaved on many occasions, I love it all the same and it's helped me create a lot of good photos. They say that it doesn't matter how good or expensive the camera is, it's the photographer that captures the good photos but I think it's a bit of both. As I said, I love my camera but I'm currently saving up for a new one which will be bigger and better. As you progress and get better as a photographer, you need a camera that will help you progress even further and I think that with my camera, I've reached my creative limits and there's only so much I can do with it whereas, with this new one that I'm wanting, it's a lot more manual and instead of relying on the camera to sort the details out for me, I can sort them myself and therefore make the image exactly how I want it to be.

When you officially start calling yourself a photographer, there are signs that you know you are one. I can't help it, I am constantly on the look out for a good photo whether I have my camera with me or not. Being a photographer completely opens your eyes to the world around you. The good and the bad. I mainly focus on the good though! I look at everything and everyone and I just end up smiling and looking like a complete idiot because when you sit back and observe, everything is just so beautiful! Okay, not everything but a heck of a lot of stuff is! I went out for a walk on my own with my camera the other day for a few hours and I saw couples out for a walk, holding hands and walking their dogs. I noticed all the different colours of Autumn- oranges, reds, yellows and browns- and how pretty everything looks. There were a few squirrels up in the trees and birds singing away as the sun set and that itself was amazing! I love being a photographer simply for the fact that it's opened my eyes and I don't think I'll ever close them again because you just enjoy life so much more when you can see everything.

Another perk is people's reactions to your work. As a photographer you bring out the best in things and people. If you're doing portraits, as you're taking photos of someone, you start to notice the best things about them like their eyes or their smile and you make sure those things are noticed in your photos. I let my models look through the unedited photos before I go away and edit them and every time I get a 'I love this one!' or 'I look so pretty!!' and it's little comments like that that make me think 'I've done a good job!' But it's also knowing that they'll then have that picture or those pictures to keep for as long as they want to. One of my models has a few of my pictures up in her living room because her parents wanted them printed and it's just knowing that I've captured those pictures and that they're good enough for someone to look at every day that helps keep me going.

I've done two weddings now and I've got another booked for next year. Weddings are terrifying! and I completely understand why photographers charge so much! You're in charge of capturing moments from one of the most important days of someone's life and not only that but they also have to be beautiful images that are good enough to be shown around to the bride and groom's family and friends and also good enough to be kept for the rest of their married life. Apart from the pictures that are actually posed, for the rest of the day you are literally capturing moments and you can't control moments so that itself is hard to do. I'm making this sound awful aren't I? It's not an awful job. It's an amazing job to photograph a wedding. It's just hard work. It's such a great feeling when someone chooses you to take photos for their wedding. You're like ... me? Seriously? And that's when you know that there are people who think your work is good. People have been telling me for years that I have a good eye for photography but I've never really listened and it isn't until people start paying for your work, that you actually do start thinking that you must have a talent for this or no-one would be actually paying for it. Apparently, I made my last bride actually cry because she was so happy with my work! I was nearly crying as well! Nothing compares to the feeling you get when you know you've made someone cry with happiness.

I'd seriously suggest photography being a main subject in schools simply because of it opening up people's eyes to the world around them and there could be soooo many amazing photographers out there that could capture beautiful images that need to be seen, but they just haven't thought about photography and don't know anything about cameras. Photos capture memories so even if people are taught about photography but don't pursue it as a career, at least they're able to take good photos when they need to and they then have that photo to look back at without a person missing a head or an arm or a sunset without the sun! You'd be surprised at what ridiculous photos people come out with that don't know how to use a camera.

People don't understand how hard it is being a photographer. I can't just pick up a camera and take a photo. I have to think about exposure, composition, whether the image is in focus or not and then of course the actual subject and how it looks best and then how it could be edited after. Editing itself takes half an hour at the least. But despite all of that, I love it. It's hard work but I love it! It's taken over my life and changed me but I wouldn't be who I am without this talent and I will continue with this for hopefully many more years!

So... pick up a camera! Get out there and take photos! Buy a photo album to put them all in because you'll thank yourself when you're older and you can look at those photos and remember all the good times.


Just in case you wanted to check out some of my work, here's a link to my Facebook page! :) https://www.facebook.com/BeckyJadePhotography

'Good Friends Are Hard to Find, Harder to Leave and Impossible to Forget.'

Definition of 'Friend' :- A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.


These days, true friendship is hard to find. My theory is that it's because I'm getting older and so are all my 'friends'. We're all changing and moving on and our focus is on different things. Jobs, University, relationships, marriage and even babies!
I only have a handful of people (that I'm not related to) that I can call friends by the above definition. They know exactly who they are because I actually tell them how special they are to me and that I'm thankful to have them in my life. I do actually have a bond with those people and we share a mutual affection towards one another. We can talk for hours without there being awkward silences. We can have a laugh and I can be myself with them! Nothing is more important in a friendship than being able to just be myself around that person and talk about literally anything. It's being there for each other when you feel like you don't have anyone else. It's talking through the night until the problems are solved. It's having fun and being childish and stupid and not having a care in the world. It's being a good influence on each other. Teaching each other, learning from each other, trusting each other and believing in each other.

If you've just thought 'That sounds like me and...', you hold on to them and don't let go! You tell them that you're glad you met them and thank them for everything they've done for you. My handful of friends have made me who I am today. They've lectured me when I've needed it. They've loved me when I've needed it. Most of all they have always been there for me since the day I started calling them friends and they have talked to me until the early hours of the morning, just listening and giving advice when needed. That is why they fit under the definition of a friend and that's why if your friend is the same, you treasure them.

Friendship is a partnership. It's got to be a mutual thing or it shouldn't be a thing at all. The people classed as my friends are all people who do what they can to put a smile back on my face when I'm down and they know I will do the same for them. I'll be there for them whenever they need me, including at stupid o'clock in the morning and they make that promise to me as well.
Don't become a door mat. Don't just be there for them whenever they need you if the favour isn't returned because you need someone you can trust to be there for you but who also knows that you will be there for them too.

Next time you're thinking about someone who you used to be friends with and who you used to be close to but has somehow faded away and barely talks to you any more, don't worry about it. If you're true friends, you'll find each other again and you'll be back to how you used to be but if you don't find your way back to each other again then just look back and smile at the old times but know that you'll have new and better times with someone else who is going to be an even better friend.

As I said earlier, just mention to your friend(s) that you're glad you met them and thank them for always being there when you need them. Where would you be without them? and they have helped to make you the person you are today. I bet you that they're glad they met you too! :)

Do I or don't I?

Isn't it annoying when you meet someone and you just think 'You're soo perfect for me.' but then you're stuck and left thinking 'But now that I like you... what do I do?'.

Wouldn't it be so much easier if we didn't care about rejection? I thought that I'd got to the stage now where if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me and it wasn't meant to be and if he does... Great, we'll go from there, but I've still got that nagging feeling every time I decide 'Right, I'm just gonna do it!' and there's a voice in my head screaming at me 'Don't do it! He doesn't like you in that way!! You're gonna get hurt!'

We all wish we were mind readers when it comes to stuff like this. Does he or doesn't he? Does she or doesn't she? Of course it works both ways. Some of us have the silly notion in our heads that the guy has to make the first move but how do you think guys feel about that? What if he's thinking the same as you are? 'I don't want to make the first move until I know she likes me.' Then you're both stuck aren't you?

I admire the people who have the guts to make the first move. When a guy tells me that he likes me but I don't feel the same, I try to be as nice about it as I possibly can be. I know exactly how he feels... humiliated, wishing that he hadn't said anything but also gutted that I don't feel the same about him and he'll be thinking that I'll not talk to him for a while now because it'll be awkward. I never do that. I'll talk to him about it all until he feels okay again and then we'll continue as we were before. Good friends. Treat others how you'd like to be treated and all that...

I saw the other day on Facebook, a page called 'Wait, what! You used to like me? Why didn't you tell me? I liked you too!' Or something along those lines and I just thought, yeah, been there done that. It's quite tragic when that happens and you think 'Damn, if only I'd had the guts to tell them!' And it all comes back to the R word. We're scared of rejection. If we didn't care, we wouldn't have this problem.

No-one likes being rejected. It hurts but we get over it. When you like someone, you've just got to go for it. Do you really want a couple years to pass and you and your crush (I hate that word...) are talking and you're having a conversation about old times and you slip out that you used to fancy them (I hate that word too... fancy. Sounds so childish.) and then they turn round and say 'I used to fancy you as well...' and it's too late now. Things have moved on, you've both changed, one of you or both of you are with someone else and you're just friends. The End. How sad is that? And it's times like that when the dreaded phrased 'What if...' turns up and you think what if you'd told them all those years ago. What if you'd had the guts to open up about how you felt?

You don't want to be in that situation. It sucks. So my advice is to not listen to that scared voice in your head demanding not to tell that person you like them. Just go for it! If you get rejected, so what? Have a cry or a sulk and then get over it knowing that it just wasn't meant to be and that there's someone 10 times better than them waiting just around the corner. You won't think that at the time of course because you'll be stuck on that person for a little bit but yeah... have faith that you won't be alone forever! There is someone better and someone that actually deserves you.

Don't fear rejection, take it as a good thing. Everything happens for a reason so in the long run, it'll have a good effect on you and will make you more brave, more understanding and stronger.
Tell them before it's too late.

2012

I know I usually do the review of the year on the 1st of January but I've been really busy with my new job and stuff so I just hadn't got round to it until now. I'm sorry!

So, 2013 eh! I think I heard something the other day about us now starting to get to the point where films that had been set in the future, have now kinda been set for now if that makes sense? So Back to the Future, Marty McFly travels to the 3rd of January 2013 I think it was... that's now our past! And, I'm a big fan of Doctor who and one of the David Tennant episodes was set around the Olympics 2012 which of course is now our past as well. I'm sure there are many other examples but that's all I've got for the moment.

Many people around the world were actually thinking we weren't going to make it to this year. You guessed it, December 21st 2012, the date the Mayan's predicted the world would end all because their calendar finished then. Here's a bit of info for those silly people who believed in it: Calendar's end every single year, doesn't mean the world is going to end each year does it? I dunno, people will make a huge deal out of every apocalypse that is supposedly going to happen so just let them get on with it and look like fools when we're still alive the next day. A wise youtuber once said "Always deny the apocalypse. If you turn out to be wrong, there won't be anyone left at the end to say 'I told you so'".

We had lots of other big events of the year including the Queen's... was it Diamond? Diamond rings a bell... I know it was 60 years, lets just go with that. We celebrated 60 years of the Queen being on the throne, which was quite good I guess. The boat parade was very boring and very wet! I felt very sorry for the Royals for having to stand out on their boat, waving at the other boats and the people who had come out to see it and well, I feel sorry for the people who were there watching it too! I was watching the parade, sat on my sofa, curled up in a fluffy blanket, all on my own because my mum and dad had gone shopping and Ryan was on his Xbox as usual. The concert was good, I enjoyed that, apart from Gary Barlow and Cheryl Cole killing 'Need you now' by Lady Antebellum. I thought Gary did really well with 'Sing' though! Going round the world collecting voices and then creating such a great song, the lyrics are fantastic.
We had the Olympic games in London as well which was a great event that brought the country together, willing and supporting our contestants to do well in their events. Jess Ennis did us all very proud, managing to do the heptathlon and achieving a Gold medal. Everyone did so well in Team GB, we were all very proud to be British.

I think they were the main ones really so let's get on with the things that happened for me in 2012!

I had my 18th in January (Which I talked about in 'So far so... stressful?'), we lost Casper (Grandma's dog) in January as well, which was a sad time because he really was a lovely dog. I started taking photography a bit more serious and got a camera for my birthday. Since then I've done a wedding and about... 11 or so photoshoots with friends and friends of friends and I'll have another wedding this year to do as well!
Talking of weddings, Rach and Ben got married June 24th and it was definitely one of the best days of the year, I had such an amazing day and the wedding really was beautiful. Then a week after that I left college!! I was very overwhelmed when I got home after we'd all gone out for the meal. I think I was relieved and very happy it was all over, but then I was a bit sad to be leaving everyone behind and judging by how things had gone the previous summer, I knew we wouldn't meet up and stuff. Of course we all said to stay in touch and 'we'll meet up soon!!' but you know how things are, people never really stick to that and you all drift apart and don't really talk much any more. I still try and see Lauren whenever I can and we have a good catch up and a good time together which is nice! And I've text Jess a bit and talked to each other on Facebook.

So after I'd left college that was it. I didn't want to go to Uni so it was time to find a job *deep breath*. I didn't really bother during the summer to be honest, I wanted my summer to be my summer, you know, have fun, see friends, go on holiday etc. During the summer I met up with Andy, remember Andy? I met him at the X factor auditions back in 2011. We just met up in Chesterfield and I'm not kidding when I say we pretty much just talked for about 6 hours straight. We decided to meet at 11 and then I caught the bus home at about 10 past 5. It was a strange but very nice experience because it was only the second time that we'd met but it felt like we'd been friends for years! It was great.

In August we went to Norfolk and stayed on a lovely farm in a cottage. It was called Riverside farm and it was such a great holiday made even better by the owners of the farm and just having stayed there. The owners, Andy and Amanda were so friendly! In the evening Andy would drive a tractor around the farm and the fields with the kids riding in the trailer and on our 3rd day there, me, Ryan and mum were by the main house playing table tennis and Andy pulled up in the tractor with Milly, the 6 year old little girl that was staying in another one of the cottages with her parents Lisa and Carl, all sat on the hay bails in the trailer with another woman and her 2 boys that were staying in the other cottage. Andy asked if we'd like to hop on so I jumped at the chance and got myself up onto the trailer without giving it a second thought. Mum and Ryan of course got on too and then 5 minutes into the ride, we were going into the fields and it was VERY bumpy and I thought 'Idiot. Who in their right mind gets on the back of a tractor, riding around fields when they get easily travel sick!!' but actually, once I relaxed, I was fine and I really enjoyed it!
While we were there, Andy showed us around and showed us all the animals and in one of the old stables was a bunch of baby guinea pigs only 2 weeks old! They were adorable! Then he told us he was giving them away for free and me being me, begged mum to let us have one for the rest of the time we were there (4 days!). On the last night, there were 3 guinea pigs left. I'd told Sarah about them going for free and she asked if we'd bring her one home which left 2 and when me and Dad finally got Mum to come around, she said we might as well have the last 2!!
Readers... I'd like you to meet the two new(ish) additions to our family...

 Sage

And Dill :)

Aren't they gorgeous? They're great pets! And very vocal as well which I love. I love my boys :) 

When September came around, I was able to sign on to the job centre to receive job seekers allowance. That also meant that from then until December when I finally got a job, I had to go into the job centre each week after having done a job search every week for them to check as well, otherwise I wouldn't get the money. It was tough! After a while I started running out of jobs to put down. Sure there would be plenty jobs available but nothing I was looking for and could apply for. Then in December I applied for the job I have now. Had 2 interviews and was offered the job after Jenny said that she was very impressed with my first interview!

December was a very busy time! I met up with Megs and we went to McArthur Glen and had a catch up. Went to the Nottingham Christmas market with Sarah and Dean which was great! 

Oh I also forgot... I managed to get a little job in November working for Diane, one of the ladies that walks with mum in the morning sometimes. She was looking for someone who could look after her dog Eddie for a weekend, so I did that which was great, Sarah came along to help me and stayed over as well. After that, she asked if I'd sort her office for her and she was paying me £7.50 an hour! I only did an hour a week mind you but still! So I'm very thankful to Diane for letting me do that :)

Also in November I stayed with Auntie Sukes and Levi for the weekend which was so much fun! I'd never stayed on my own before so it was nice to have some proper quality Auntie- Niece time and we did some shopping, watched lots of films, went to see Breaking Dawn Part 2, had some Chinese, ate a lot of chocolate and stuff and it was just such a great weekend and I can't wait to go and stay again! :) 

Christmas was in Weston this year and boy was it eventful!! The car broke down at Hopwood services on the way there. We left Chesterfield at about half 11 and usually it takes 3 hours to get to Weston. Not this time. We got there about half 7 in the evening. We ended up being towed all the way to Weston! We had a lovely Christmas and I was very spoilt! Auntie Claire got me these gorgeous shoes! Can't walk in them but they're gorgeous! and Grandma got me the lamp I wanted and Mum and dad got me what I'd wanted and just overall, I was spoilt and I loved all of my presents from everyone! 

On the way home the car broke down again, this time on the motorway in Gloucester. It was scary, it was cold and I didn't like it one bit! But we got home with the help of lots of prayers from my friends on Facebook and also obviously with help from Green Flag again! 

New year was spent at Grandma and Grandad's which was lovely! Auntie Sukes and Levi came over as well which was nice and we had a great evening and even let off some fireworks! 

All in all, it's been a great year! I've loved it! I wish I could say more but I bet most people saw how long it was and gave up somewhere in the middle! lol Thank you if you've read all of it though! :D 

I hope you all have a wonderful new year full of love, happiness, good health and fun! Love you all! 

xx