'Positive thoughts equals positive results.' I used to live by that when I was younger. I still try to now but I find as you get older, negativity tends to set in a bit more and you become a bit of a cynic and a moaner (not the good kind...). You find yourself not believing in things as much as you used to and losing faith in humanity as well.
I work in a cafe which is actually one of the worst environments to be in for a positive person. It tests you and really pushes you to your limits. I'm sure there are plenty other jobs and environments that are worse but I really do not like my job sometimes.
I've always tried to be a very positive person. I put others before myself and I try to hide my negative emotions to make other people feel better. No-one wants to work with or be served by someone who's grumpy all the time and takes their frustrations out on other people, it's horrible and no-one benefits from that kind of attitude. We've all got someone or people that we work with who like to moan a lot or maybe you're the moaner of the team. There's nothing worse than turning up to your shift in a great mood, feeling good about the day and then that someone is there... moan, moan, moan, moan, moan! I think another awful thing is when someone is having a bad day and they're out serving customers and take it out on them. My motto (sometimes it's very hard to do though) is leave all your personal crap at home and bring a smile to work.
It's not just my colleagues though. I hate to say it, but it's the customers as well. You have no idea how many people come in and are just so difficult for no reason. I think people get enjoyment out of testing us and trying to make us look bad which I think is cruel! And what's worse is, the majority of awkward customers are usually the older generation! I love the older generation... grandmas and grandads... I think they're interesting, funny and have probably got so many stories and life lessons, but some of these that we have to serve, well, I swear they're out to get us! They say to respect your elders but unfortunately, in this job they don't seem to have much respect for us which upsets me a bit. I think as they get older, they seem to forget some of the things they were taught as children as well, like manners and how to act in public. The other week, our coffee machine was down and a woman in her 50's came in, saw the signs that the coffee machine was broken, literally threw her tray on the floor, threw her arms up in the air in rage and stormed off. How immature is that??
This takes me back to the whole becoming more negative as you get older thing.
I was talking to my fiance about this the other day. I can't remember what brought it on but I suddenly realised that everyone seems to moan and complain to each other all the time. Me and him do it all the time too and I thought how much easier it seems to be to say something negative than be positive instead. Think about it... when you're talking to someone about your day or about work, how often do you say 'you know what? Today has been a great day and I've felt awesome!'... no, I don't say it often either. I always try and text my fiance on my break and he always asks how I am and how my shift is going and you know what? It just feels easier and more natural to say 'I'm tired and work is crap.' Every now and then I'll find myself saying 'I'm good thank you and work is going well!' which just typing as an example, feels so much nicer to say! So why isn't it easier and why does being positive feel like effort? It makes no sense and maybe I'm on my own with this but I just needed to get it all down in words anyway.
If we talk about the customers while we're in the kitchen, they're very rarely nice things. Most of the time it's when people have been difficult or if they've been rude to us. That's not because we don't mention the nice things... it's because nice things very rarely happen. A customer told me the other day that she went and told customer services that we were doing a really good job and after I thanked her and said I remembered that, she said 'People are so quick to complain, I thought I'd make the effort to go and say how well you did in here.' There it is again though; effort.
They say people are quick to judge and people are quick to complain... it seems wrong that we've become or even been programmed this way. I'll admit, I do it too! You see someone on the street who is dressed differently or looks a bit strange, why are we so quick at pointing these things out? Why don't we see the good things first? Then again, sometimes we do but then we might become envious or jealous if we see a girl who has better hair or is prettier than we are, or a guy who has a better body or more facial hair? It really doesn't make sense and it's sad.
I've decided that I'm going to start making the effort to re-programme my mind. I have no idea if it's scientific that we're like this or there's a psychological thing behind it, but it seems to be the way we are and what if we can choose to retrain our minds and our personalities to make us better and more positive? Who knows, but I'm certainly going to try!! I want to see someone in the street and think 'I love her hair!' or see someone who's a bit odd and think 'good for them for being different!'. I want to go into a restaurant and if things go really well or there's something I'm impressed with, I want to go and tell them how well they're doing and keep up the good work.
Don't get me wrong though, thinking about it, sometimes negativity is a good thing. If we get a complaint at work about something, we then know not to do it again or if we need to change something to make it better for our customers. Sometimes negativity can have the opposite effect than what you'd assume as well. I had someone once tell me that my photography wasn't good enough to charge people so you know what? ... yes, it upset me, but looking back at that, it pushed me to become the photographer I am now because I thought, no, I'm going to prove you wrong!
Being positive and supportive is so much nicer though. I've had a few customers shout me over or tell me at the till how smiley and happy I am or that it's nice to be served with a smile. One even called me a ray of sunshine! Those compliments stick with you and brighten your day. They make you feel good but when you say those kinds of things to people, it makes you feel good too. How do people get a nice feeling from shouting at someone or complaining or judging or simply being rude?
I will end this post/rant by simply asking a favour. Please, for the sake of humanity, or at least your own humanity, please be nicer and more positive to and about people. We all have so much to give and so much to offer but we don't support and love each other enough. For all you know, that man or woman who served you the best they could but might have done something that annoyed you or they didn't serve you how you'd like to be served, they might be having an off day or something has happened at home and you're going to complain about them and make their day worse. Why not pick out the things they did right instead?
Please take time to go and compliment people who have done a good job and made your life that little bit easier by serving you something you wanted that day or doing you a service you simply couldn't be bothered to do. Make the effort to smile and say thank you. Tell your partner you've had a great day at work! Tell that girl that you love her hair. Tell that guy that his beard is cool. Be nice, be positive and as it was said in one of my favourite Disney movies...
Have courage and be kind.
Becks x
