'Positive thoughts equals positive results.' I used to live by that when I was younger. I still try to now but I find as you get older, negativity tends to set in a bit more and you become a bit of a cynic and a moaner (not the good kind...). You find yourself not believing in things as much as you used to and losing faith in humanity as well.
I work in a cafe which is actually one of the worst environments to be in for a positive person. It tests you and really pushes you to your limits. I'm sure there are plenty other jobs and environments that are worse but I really do not like my job sometimes.
I've always tried to be a very positive person. I put others before myself and I try to hide my negative emotions to make other people feel better. No-one wants to work with or be served by someone who's grumpy all the time and takes their frustrations out on other people, it's horrible and no-one benefits from that kind of attitude. We've all got someone or people that we work with who like to moan a lot or maybe you're the moaner of the team. There's nothing worse than turning up to your shift in a great mood, feeling good about the day and then that someone is there... moan, moan, moan, moan, moan! I think another awful thing is when someone is having a bad day and they're out serving customers and take it out on them. My motto (sometimes it's very hard to do though) is leave all your personal crap at home and bring a smile to work.
It's not just my colleagues though. I hate to say it, but it's the customers as well. You have no idea how many people come in and are just so difficult for no reason. I think people get enjoyment out of testing us and trying to make us look bad which I think is cruel! And what's worse is, the majority of awkward customers are usually the older generation! I love the older generation... grandmas and grandads... I think they're interesting, funny and have probably got so many stories and life lessons, but some of these that we have to serve, well, I swear they're out to get us! They say to respect your elders but unfortunately, in this job they don't seem to have much respect for us which upsets me a bit. I think as they get older, they seem to forget some of the things they were taught as children as well, like manners and how to act in public. The other week, our coffee machine was down and a woman in her 50's came in, saw the signs that the coffee machine was broken, literally threw her tray on the floor, threw her arms up in the air in rage and stormed off. How immature is that??
This takes me back to the whole becoming more negative as you get older thing.
I was talking to my fiance about this the other day. I can't remember what brought it on but I suddenly realised that everyone seems to moan and complain to each other all the time. Me and him do it all the time too and I thought how much easier it seems to be to say something negative than be positive instead. Think about it... when you're talking to someone about your day or about work, how often do you say 'you know what? Today has been a great day and I've felt awesome!'... no, I don't say it often either. I always try and text my fiance on my break and he always asks how I am and how my shift is going and you know what? It just feels easier and more natural to say 'I'm tired and work is crap.' Every now and then I'll find myself saying 'I'm good thank you and work is going well!' which just typing as an example, feels so much nicer to say! So why isn't it easier and why does being positive feel like effort? It makes no sense and maybe I'm on my own with this but I just needed to get it all down in words anyway.
If we talk about the customers while we're in the kitchen, they're very rarely nice things. Most of the time it's when people have been difficult or if they've been rude to us. That's not because we don't mention the nice things... it's because nice things very rarely happen. A customer told me the other day that she went and told customer services that we were doing a really good job and after I thanked her and said I remembered that, she said 'People are so quick to complain, I thought I'd make the effort to go and say how well you did in here.' There it is again though; effort.
They say people are quick to judge and people are quick to complain... it seems wrong that we've become or even been programmed this way. I'll admit, I do it too! You see someone on the street who is dressed differently or looks a bit strange, why are we so quick at pointing these things out? Why don't we see the good things first? Then again, sometimes we do but then we might become envious or jealous if we see a girl who has better hair or is prettier than we are, or a guy who has a better body or more facial hair? It really doesn't make sense and it's sad.
I've decided that I'm going to start making the effort to re-programme my mind. I have no idea if it's scientific that we're like this or there's a psychological thing behind it, but it seems to be the way we are and what if we can choose to retrain our minds and our personalities to make us better and more positive? Who knows, but I'm certainly going to try!! I want to see someone in the street and think 'I love her hair!' or see someone who's a bit odd and think 'good for them for being different!'. I want to go into a restaurant and if things go really well or there's something I'm impressed with, I want to go and tell them how well they're doing and keep up the good work.
Don't get me wrong though, thinking about it, sometimes negativity is a good thing. If we get a complaint at work about something, we then know not to do it again or if we need to change something to make it better for our customers. Sometimes negativity can have the opposite effect than what you'd assume as well. I had someone once tell me that my photography wasn't good enough to charge people so you know what? ... yes, it upset me, but looking back at that, it pushed me to become the photographer I am now because I thought, no, I'm going to prove you wrong!
Being positive and supportive is so much nicer though. I've had a few customers shout me over or tell me at the till how smiley and happy I am or that it's nice to be served with a smile. One even called me a ray of sunshine! Those compliments stick with you and brighten your day. They make you feel good but when you say those kinds of things to people, it makes you feel good too. How do people get a nice feeling from shouting at someone or complaining or judging or simply being rude?
I will end this post/rant by simply asking a favour. Please, for the sake of humanity, or at least your own humanity, please be nicer and more positive to and about people. We all have so much to give and so much to offer but we don't support and love each other enough. For all you know, that man or woman who served you the best they could but might have done something that annoyed you or they didn't serve you how you'd like to be served, they might be having an off day or something has happened at home and you're going to complain about them and make their day worse. Why not pick out the things they did right instead?
Please take time to go and compliment people who have done a good job and made your life that little bit easier by serving you something you wanted that day or doing you a service you simply couldn't be bothered to do. Make the effort to smile and say thank you. Tell your partner you've had a great day at work! Tell that girl that you love her hair. Tell that guy that his beard is cool. Be nice, be positive and as it was said in one of my favourite Disney movies...
Have courage and be kind.
Becks x
Monday, 3 October 2016
Tuesday, 12 July 2016
The Night Before (what feels like) Christmas
Hello!!
It's been far too long since I've blogged and I sincerely apologise for that, just in case anyone has actually missed my posts.
I've got sooooo much to tell you!! I thought I'd blog about it all now because I'm at a huge high in anticipation for a few things about to happen in the next few days.
Number 1...
Tomorrow morning (this morning if anyone is reading this on the 13th), I will be going to Village Estates to sign some paperwork, confirm a large sum of money that I've transferred over today, and pick up the keys to my new flat. A couple months ago I applied for this flat. I'd sussed out how much money I'd need per month and if I had enough to live on... not exactly comfortably, a bit tight, but enough to keep my head above water, and I worked out that I could do it. It's a cute little flat, smack bang in the centre of Clay Cross, a 5 minute walk from work. Perfect. The application went through along with £60 admission fee and I was away! I got a call saying the land lord wanted to take the application to the next level because there was another applicant in the race as well so they advised a home visit just to meet me properly and have a look at how I was already living (preferably tidy and nice). A few days past and I still hadn't heard anything so I gave the estate agents a ring and they said they'd talk to who was sorting it out and get back to me. The next day I got a call. Unfortunately they'd chosen the other person. I'm not going to lie, I had a little cry. I was so excited to be moving out, having my own place and some independence, but what will be will be, everything happens for a reason. I picked myself back up again and decided to just wait and move with Mum and Dad when our house sells and wait until my boyfriend is ready to move out with me. That was that.
The other day, me and my boyfriend Aiden were babysitting his cousin's little boy, Tommy. He was waiting for a call from the agency, confirming that he had a new job and when he'd be starting. 10 minutes or so before he got that call, I got a call from an 01246 number. I thought, well it's local so I might as well answer and just see what or who it was. It was Trish from Village Estates, the woman who had sorted my application for the flat the other month. She continued to tell me that the flat was available again, as of that morning, and would I like it if I'm still interested? Yes! There was no application process because I'd already done one for the property so she said just to let her know when I wanted to come and see the flat again and sort out the tenancy paperwork and payments. I was literally jumping for joy. Seriously... people that know me, know that when I'm super excited I actually jump up and down and do a girly squeal of excitement. I ran upstairs to tell Aiden who was busy entertaining Tommy and then I ran back down again and called my Mum to let her know. I sat on the sofa contemplating it all and letting it sink in. Was I ready for this? Could I afford this? What about the new kittens me and Aiden had just got? Am I allowed pets? Would they come with me or stay at his Mum's? How am I gonna get all my stuff to the flat?
Aiden came down and asked if I was okay and I replied 'I'm scared...', why? He asked. 'I'm gonna have to be an adult!', which sounds completely daft but that was what scared me. Bills... responsibility, living on my own, loneliness... and Clay Cross isn't exactly known for being a nice, pretty, quiet village/town, whatever it is. But, I put all that out of my mind and just focused on being excited instead.
As I said, 10 minutes or so after my call, Aiden got his saying that he'd got the job and he started on Monday, she just needed to confirm the start time and who he needed to report to. Boom! Two great things for us in the space of 10 minutes! Now it was time to move on and look towards the future.
Aiden started his new job yesterday and he's not quite comfortable with it yet, it's going to take some time to get used to the machines, and the early mornings are killing him but he's just going to see where it goes and how he gets on.
I'm so excited about getting the keys for the flat tomorrow! He already knows this so I'm not hiding this feeling from him, but I'm slightly glad in a way that Aiden isn't coming with me to the flat. It'll be nice to have some proper independence and be able to do this flat as I want. I absolutely love pink. I used to hate it when I was younger but as I've grown up, the colour has grown on me and I've loved the idea of having a pink themed flat. I've already got a lot of pink accessories and bits and bobs for it that I've been collecting for the past few years and I can't wait to sort it all out and move in! Aiden is probably going to hate me for making it so girly!
I'm not as scared as I was... Aiden will only be 10 minutes down the road at his Mum's if I need him and Mum and Dad are a 10 minute drive if I'm that desperate but I'll be fine! Money wise, it's going to be tight for a bit until I get a handle on things and I know how much is going out and coming in but there are ways around things. I'm not going to need any heating until September for one thing if the weather carries on like this. It's not exactly been nice weather lately but it's certainly been warm.
So here's to a new beginning! I'll be sad to leave home after being in this house 14 years but it'll be nice to spread my things out instead of having one room as my living room, library, study and bedroom!
Number 2...
A year ago on the 13th of June 2015, I met Aiden. We met at his Mum's birthday party at their house. I'd seen him a few times in the cafe when he'd been in to wait for Julie to finish and he'd stand at the end of the counter and I'd ask if he wanted his Mum and then I'd go in the back and shout her. I once brought him over a hot chocolate as well, but that's as far as our conversations had gone. At the party it wasn't until the end of the night that we got chatting. He asked me for my number and I said no. He asked me again and I said 'Okay, I want a smooth line first'... you know, something like 'I've lost my number, can I have yours?', he came up blank and stumbled a bit so I said no again. A bit later I found myself sat next to him, chatting again and he casually passed me his phone with a 'New Contact' page up on his screen so I thought, you know what, why not? We've not gone a single day since then without talking.
At first I just wanted to get to know him and see where things went. I'd already been hurt recently by another guy so I wasn't really interested in any relationships and I'd kind of had enough with guys. A few weeks passed of us texting every day and he asked if I wanted to be more than friends... I said no, in the nicest way I could. We got on soooo well and he impressed me with what he knew, what he liked and the way we could talk for hours but I kept thinking about the fact I just wanted to be single and not have the hassle of a relationship.
Another few weeks past and we were still talking every day and he asked if I wanted to come over... I said yes. He came and met me from work one Sunday afternoon. It was a bit awkward at first. We'd not really seen each other properly since his Mum's party and it's weird actually seeing someone and spending time with them after you've just been texting for ages. Once we got to his I just tried to relax and make myself at home the best I could. Julie did us a big Sunday dinner and me being me, I took absolutely ages to eat it and Aiden and Julie thought it was funny and teased me a bit... as you would if you'd finished your dinner nearly an hour before someone else finished theirs.
Julie had had a really tough few days so we all decided to go out and have some drinks and Julie said I could stop at theirs and come with her to work in the morning as we were on together anyway.
We got home and Julie said I could stop in her bed. I don't quite know how this meant that Aiden had to sleep in it with me, but he did. He already knew that I hadn't done anything with anyone yet so I was a bit cautious and wasn't sure if he'd be like most other guys I'd met and wanted me as a kind of trophy... guys see it as a big thing to take a girl's virginity and sometimes it's not for very nice reasons. I was incredibly impressed that he didn't try anything at all other than a goodnight kiss, which I gave him. Another thing that impressed me and I thought was incredibly sweet was that when I told him I had a massive headache and was struggling to get to sleep, he got up out of bed, went downstairs and fetched a towel, came back up, went to the bathroom, put it under the cold tap and then came back and told me to put it on my head. It felt amazing and worked a treat!
The next morning, I woke up and he was gone. It was that moment that I realised I liked him. I missed him... he wasn't laying next to me and it felt strange like he should be there. He'd had to get up and go to work and later told me that he didn't want to wake me up.
I went downstairs and found Julie sat with a cup of tea. I sat there with her for a bit and then said out loud 'I think I like your son...'. The rest of the morning, I don't really want to think about because I was quite hungover and rather ill before work and during!
A week or 2 later, on the 15th of July, Aiden asked me out. In 3 days time it will be our year anniversary. For many couples, a year is probably not a big deal and they don't think much of it but for us? This is our first proper relationship. He's had... flings, in the past and you could say that I have too, just more of the emotional side of a fling rather than physical. Other than that, he hasn't had a girlfriend before and I haven't had a proper boyfriend other than when I was in school, but I don't think they count. We've had our share of arguments, what couple hasn't? We've had our very low points but we've had a lot of high points too. He's a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gorgeous, sexy guy. He loves me for exactly who I am. I don't have to hide at all, not even my face without make up and that's a big deal for me! (underneath my make up my face is all red n blotchy and scarred from me picking spots when I was a teenager, so it's rare that I'll let someone see me without make up) I can be as weird and crazy as I want and he doesn't love me any less. He makes me laugh every single day. He's my best friend who I tell everything to. He's my soulmate. I am crazy, deeply, madly and completely in love with him and I hope and plan on spending the rest of my life with him.
You're probably wondering what we're doing for our year anniversary, if you're not... I'm gonna tell you anyway! We're just going to Nottingham on Thursday and staying two nights in the St James Hotel. We're going to go to Nottingham castle on our anniversary as I haven't been before but other than that, we're simply just going to get away from everything and spend some quality time together. Probably going to use the hotel WiFi and watch some films on Netflix... cause we're cool.
So that's my two awesome things that I needed to share with you and write about. I'll try and do another post soon and just tell you how things are going in the new flat and how life in general is but for now, I look forward to the week ahead and a new chapter in my life.
Keep smiling and I just need you to know that sometimes the tunnel might look extremely dark and like you're going to be trapped in there forever with no escape... but there is ALWAYS light at the end. Good things come to those who wait and just try your best to stay positive even in times when it's a lot easier to be negative. You'll get there :)
Becks x
It's been far too long since I've blogged and I sincerely apologise for that, just in case anyone has actually missed my posts.
I've got sooooo much to tell you!! I thought I'd blog about it all now because I'm at a huge high in anticipation for a few things about to happen in the next few days.
Number 1...
Tomorrow morning (this morning if anyone is reading this on the 13th), I will be going to Village Estates to sign some paperwork, confirm a large sum of money that I've transferred over today, and pick up the keys to my new flat. A couple months ago I applied for this flat. I'd sussed out how much money I'd need per month and if I had enough to live on... not exactly comfortably, a bit tight, but enough to keep my head above water, and I worked out that I could do it. It's a cute little flat, smack bang in the centre of Clay Cross, a 5 minute walk from work. Perfect. The application went through along with £60 admission fee and I was away! I got a call saying the land lord wanted to take the application to the next level because there was another applicant in the race as well so they advised a home visit just to meet me properly and have a look at how I was already living (preferably tidy and nice). A few days past and I still hadn't heard anything so I gave the estate agents a ring and they said they'd talk to who was sorting it out and get back to me. The next day I got a call. Unfortunately they'd chosen the other person. I'm not going to lie, I had a little cry. I was so excited to be moving out, having my own place and some independence, but what will be will be, everything happens for a reason. I picked myself back up again and decided to just wait and move with Mum and Dad when our house sells and wait until my boyfriend is ready to move out with me. That was that.
The other day, me and my boyfriend Aiden were babysitting his cousin's little boy, Tommy. He was waiting for a call from the agency, confirming that he had a new job and when he'd be starting. 10 minutes or so before he got that call, I got a call from an 01246 number. I thought, well it's local so I might as well answer and just see what or who it was. It was Trish from Village Estates, the woman who had sorted my application for the flat the other month. She continued to tell me that the flat was available again, as of that morning, and would I like it if I'm still interested? Yes! There was no application process because I'd already done one for the property so she said just to let her know when I wanted to come and see the flat again and sort out the tenancy paperwork and payments. I was literally jumping for joy. Seriously... people that know me, know that when I'm super excited I actually jump up and down and do a girly squeal of excitement. I ran upstairs to tell Aiden who was busy entertaining Tommy and then I ran back down again and called my Mum to let her know. I sat on the sofa contemplating it all and letting it sink in. Was I ready for this? Could I afford this? What about the new kittens me and Aiden had just got? Am I allowed pets? Would they come with me or stay at his Mum's? How am I gonna get all my stuff to the flat?
Aiden came down and asked if I was okay and I replied 'I'm scared...', why? He asked. 'I'm gonna have to be an adult!', which sounds completely daft but that was what scared me. Bills... responsibility, living on my own, loneliness... and Clay Cross isn't exactly known for being a nice, pretty, quiet village/town, whatever it is. But, I put all that out of my mind and just focused on being excited instead.
As I said, 10 minutes or so after my call, Aiden got his saying that he'd got the job and he started on Monday, she just needed to confirm the start time and who he needed to report to. Boom! Two great things for us in the space of 10 minutes! Now it was time to move on and look towards the future.
Aiden started his new job yesterday and he's not quite comfortable with it yet, it's going to take some time to get used to the machines, and the early mornings are killing him but he's just going to see where it goes and how he gets on.
I'm so excited about getting the keys for the flat tomorrow! He already knows this so I'm not hiding this feeling from him, but I'm slightly glad in a way that Aiden isn't coming with me to the flat. It'll be nice to have some proper independence and be able to do this flat as I want. I absolutely love pink. I used to hate it when I was younger but as I've grown up, the colour has grown on me and I've loved the idea of having a pink themed flat. I've already got a lot of pink accessories and bits and bobs for it that I've been collecting for the past few years and I can't wait to sort it all out and move in! Aiden is probably going to hate me for making it so girly!
I'm not as scared as I was... Aiden will only be 10 minutes down the road at his Mum's if I need him and Mum and Dad are a 10 minute drive if I'm that desperate but I'll be fine! Money wise, it's going to be tight for a bit until I get a handle on things and I know how much is going out and coming in but there are ways around things. I'm not going to need any heating until September for one thing if the weather carries on like this. It's not exactly been nice weather lately but it's certainly been warm.
So here's to a new beginning! I'll be sad to leave home after being in this house 14 years but it'll be nice to spread my things out instead of having one room as my living room, library, study and bedroom!
Number 2...
A year ago on the 13th of June 2015, I met Aiden. We met at his Mum's birthday party at their house. I'd seen him a few times in the cafe when he'd been in to wait for Julie to finish and he'd stand at the end of the counter and I'd ask if he wanted his Mum and then I'd go in the back and shout her. I once brought him over a hot chocolate as well, but that's as far as our conversations had gone. At the party it wasn't until the end of the night that we got chatting. He asked me for my number and I said no. He asked me again and I said 'Okay, I want a smooth line first'... you know, something like 'I've lost my number, can I have yours?', he came up blank and stumbled a bit so I said no again. A bit later I found myself sat next to him, chatting again and he casually passed me his phone with a 'New Contact' page up on his screen so I thought, you know what, why not? We've not gone a single day since then without talking.
At first I just wanted to get to know him and see where things went. I'd already been hurt recently by another guy so I wasn't really interested in any relationships and I'd kind of had enough with guys. A few weeks passed of us texting every day and he asked if I wanted to be more than friends... I said no, in the nicest way I could. We got on soooo well and he impressed me with what he knew, what he liked and the way we could talk for hours but I kept thinking about the fact I just wanted to be single and not have the hassle of a relationship.
Another few weeks past and we were still talking every day and he asked if I wanted to come over... I said yes. He came and met me from work one Sunday afternoon. It was a bit awkward at first. We'd not really seen each other properly since his Mum's party and it's weird actually seeing someone and spending time with them after you've just been texting for ages. Once we got to his I just tried to relax and make myself at home the best I could. Julie did us a big Sunday dinner and me being me, I took absolutely ages to eat it and Aiden and Julie thought it was funny and teased me a bit... as you would if you'd finished your dinner nearly an hour before someone else finished theirs.
Julie had had a really tough few days so we all decided to go out and have some drinks and Julie said I could stop at theirs and come with her to work in the morning as we were on together anyway.
We got home and Julie said I could stop in her bed. I don't quite know how this meant that Aiden had to sleep in it with me, but he did. He already knew that I hadn't done anything with anyone yet so I was a bit cautious and wasn't sure if he'd be like most other guys I'd met and wanted me as a kind of trophy... guys see it as a big thing to take a girl's virginity and sometimes it's not for very nice reasons. I was incredibly impressed that he didn't try anything at all other than a goodnight kiss, which I gave him. Another thing that impressed me and I thought was incredibly sweet was that when I told him I had a massive headache and was struggling to get to sleep, he got up out of bed, went downstairs and fetched a towel, came back up, went to the bathroom, put it under the cold tap and then came back and told me to put it on my head. It felt amazing and worked a treat!
The next morning, I woke up and he was gone. It was that moment that I realised I liked him. I missed him... he wasn't laying next to me and it felt strange like he should be there. He'd had to get up and go to work and later told me that he didn't want to wake me up.
I went downstairs and found Julie sat with a cup of tea. I sat there with her for a bit and then said out loud 'I think I like your son...'. The rest of the morning, I don't really want to think about because I was quite hungover and rather ill before work and during!
A week or 2 later, on the 15th of July, Aiden asked me out. In 3 days time it will be our year anniversary. For many couples, a year is probably not a big deal and they don't think much of it but for us? This is our first proper relationship. He's had... flings, in the past and you could say that I have too, just more of the emotional side of a fling rather than physical. Other than that, he hasn't had a girlfriend before and I haven't had a proper boyfriend other than when I was in school, but I don't think they count. We've had our share of arguments, what couple hasn't? We've had our very low points but we've had a lot of high points too. He's a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gorgeous, sexy guy. He loves me for exactly who I am. I don't have to hide at all, not even my face without make up and that's a big deal for me! (underneath my make up my face is all red n blotchy and scarred from me picking spots when I was a teenager, so it's rare that I'll let someone see me without make up) I can be as weird and crazy as I want and he doesn't love me any less. He makes me laugh every single day. He's my best friend who I tell everything to. He's my soulmate. I am crazy, deeply, madly and completely in love with him and I hope and plan on spending the rest of my life with him.
You're probably wondering what we're doing for our year anniversary, if you're not... I'm gonna tell you anyway! We're just going to Nottingham on Thursday and staying two nights in the St James Hotel. We're going to go to Nottingham castle on our anniversary as I haven't been before but other than that, we're simply just going to get away from everything and spend some quality time together. Probably going to use the hotel WiFi and watch some films on Netflix... cause we're cool.
So that's my two awesome things that I needed to share with you and write about. I'll try and do another post soon and just tell you how things are going in the new flat and how life in general is but for now, I look forward to the week ahead and a new chapter in my life.
Keep smiling and I just need you to know that sometimes the tunnel might look extremely dark and like you're going to be trapped in there forever with no escape... but there is ALWAYS light at the end. Good things come to those who wait and just try your best to stay positive even in times when it's a lot easier to be negative. You'll get there :)
Becks x
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