Being 24

The year is 2018. 24 years, 1 month and 15 days ago, a baby girl came into this world in Weston-Super-Mare general hospital to parents Adele and Sam Stockdale. That baby girl was, of course, me.

Fast forward and here I am, in Clay Cross, Chesterfield with a job in Tesco Cafe, my own flat which I'm renting and I am engaged.

Hoping that I live to 100, I'm coming up to the point where I'll have lived a quarter of my life already and apparently that means that I should be settling down, having babies, sorted out my career, know what I want in life and should be taking things more seriously. Society decides this and well, it sucks and I'm not listening.

If I look back at my school year, about 30% have got kids, 50% are focused more on their job and 20% are either married, unemployed or off travelling. Obviously there are some within those catergories that are a bit of two or three (e.g married, job and kids or married with kids). Most of them are engaged or in a relationship and most have moved out. You'll find that if any of them are unemployed and/or single and/or still live at home... they aren't doing well in life at this point. Who are we to decide that!? For all we know, they're perfectly happy and focused more on their dreams, having fun and making memories than what society says they should be doing.

People older than us really need to stop thinking they know best and nagging us about things they have no business nagging us about. I'm 24... I'm not 12. I'm an adult too. I'm a strong, incredibly independant woman and I don't need to be told what I should and shouldn't be doing at my age.

I have adults in my life who are doing a lot worse than me. Some are struggling to pay their bills, some are in debt, some are divorced and single and lost all hope, some are very dependant on the people around them including their children, some are still looking for the perfect job and some have no idea what they're doing or where they're going in life. Because they're all older than me though, they know best.

My Aunty once turned around to me and said how proud she was of me because I'm the first person in the family to actually move out on their own without housemates or a partner. Once I had my mind set on moving out and having my own place, that was it. I wasn't scared that something could happen to me and there's no-one around to look after me. I wasn't scared of being lonely. I wasn't afraid of having to pay my bills all on my own. I was excited about having a place to call my own where I could make it mine and put my stamp on it and do whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

Thankfully, my parents raised me to be independant and taught me how to save for what I wanted. We've never been a well off family but we've survived. When I started earning money, my mum used to tell me to split my money into 3, a 3rd for them for board, a 3rd for spending and a 3rd for saving. Don't get me wrong, when I first started working, I was terrible at saving and it all just used to go on books, dvds and making memories with my friends, but as I grew up, I got a lot better. I bought a £500 Canon 60D when I was 20. You can imagine how much saving I had to do for that! I've never really had more than £10 or £20 off family members for my birthday or Christmas and we didn't really get pocket money either, so I had to buckle down hard on my wages and put away what I could so that I could have my dream camera.

4 years later after saving and buying my camera, I'm now saving for my own house. In less than 3 months I've nearly put away £1000 so again, you can imagine the sacrifices I'm having to make but I'm ridiculously good at budgeting. My secret is basically as soon as I'm paid monthly, I look at what bills are coming out in the next month, add them all up and take that from my wages then whatever is left, divide it by 4 to get a weekly allowance or even by the number of days in the month to get a daily allowance. If I know I can live off less than what the weekly/daily allowance is, I take off a certain amount and that's what I can put away into my savings.

Now you know what I'm capable of and that I know what I'm doing, do you see a reason for people to be nagging me? No, neither do I, and that's what frustrates me, but because of my age and because I'm younger, I apparently don't know what I'm doing and can't look after myself.

I'm currently stuck in a job that I really don't like but because I've not got a new and 'better' job yet, apparently that also means that I'm not trying hard enough to get out and that I'm not looking for a new one. Jobs are the most important thing to the older generation. If you've not got one or your in what they would deem a shitty job, you're basically scum. You have no idea how disrespectful the older generation are to people in my kind of job. They are horrible to us and treat us like personal slaves. Just because I'm serving food and drinks to you, doesn't mean you're better than me, Sir/Madam. I was speaking to a gentleman once and he asked me how much I was on so I said it was minimum wage, £7.50 and then I went out to clear some tables about 10 minutes or so later and he called me over again and said that he'd been speaking to a girl next to him and she was on £11 an hour in a factory. So because I'm on less, she's better than me? I've got nothing against her, she's probably lovely and works hard, it was just the way this gentleman was implying that she was better than me because she earns more and has a better job. See what I mean?

The 20's are for finding yourself in my opinion. It's a different time now, just because the older generation had babies and were married by my age, doesn't mean that I should be too. Everyone is different and finds themselves at different stages in life. Who cares if I'm not married? Who cares if I don't have a child? I'm still young so I'm making memories while I can and having fun. I'm putting money away for a house, I'm committed to my guy, I pay all my bills on time, I'm not in debt, I have a roof over my head that I'm responsible for and is my task to keep clean and tidy (which I'm not amazing at but a tidy house is a sign of a boring life), I don't go out drinking, I don't smoke (even if I did, it's my decision and I shouldn't be judged for it.).

So...

To the older generation.
If we need advice or guidance, we'll come to you, believe me. Please stop judging us and trying to make us grow up. Most of us know what we're doing and have our priorities straight so let us make our own mistakes and let us have some fun while we're still young. Some of us are even doing better than you are so just because you're older, doesn't mean you're right about everything. I get that you're probably just trying to help and keep us off a path that you may have fallen onto or know someone else that has, but instead of nagging us and lecturing us about what we should and shouldn't be doing, try just being there for us when we need you and supporting our decisions. Thank you :)

Becks x