Where would I be without you?

As you grow older and become busy with work and hobbies and trying to figure out your love life, you suddenly realise that you don't actually have as many friends as you used to.

Back in school and college, I'd have several different groups of friends who I adored and who'd make the effort to see me and speak to in return. I wasn't 'popular' as such, but I did have quite a few friends. When you leave school and college, you all make those promises to each other like 'Don't worry, we'll still meet up all the time!', what we don't realise at that age is that life gets in the way of friendships.
When I left school, all my friends would say that they didn't want to leave because they'd be leaving all their friends behind because of them going off to different colleges and sixth forms and I'd say to them, 'True friends make the effort to stay in touch and see each other.' But to add onto that now, even if friends go a few years without speaking, as soon as they start again, it's like those few years were 5 minutes... you can't kill a true friendship.

Over time, you work out who your true friends are. You aren't the same person as you were in school and you aren't the same person as you were in college either. You gain so much experience and knowledge in a year and with every piece of knowledge and every different experience you have, it changes you. It changes your reactions and your opinions, sometimes even your personality as well. As you grow and evolve into the person you become, your friends are doing exactly the same and it's then that people sometimes drift apart. People see drifting apart from someone as a bad thing and then come out with 'Oh them? I haven't spoken to them in ages, we're not friends any more.' I see it as, when that person was in my life, we had a good time together. Lots of laughs, lots of memories and every friendship has their ups and downs. Every person that you encounter in your life, teaches you something new, whether that be bad or good and every little memory and experience that you have together, helps you become the person you are.

Your true friends are the ones who look at you several years later, having gone through lots of different experiences and gaining a whole load of life knowledge and becoming a whole new person themselves, and they'll still laugh at you about the time you told them off for wearing a scarf on their head in the middle of Sheffield or the time when you fell over in the mud while playing football and got mud all over your bum! They're the ones who through thick and thin, have stuck by your side, supporting you through all your decisions (good and bad), giving you tough love when you're being ridiculously naive about a guy, getting excited with you about the tiniest things and for just being there when you've needed them.

I absolutely adore my two best friends to the point where I'd do anything for them. One of them got married this year and moved down to Surrey with her husband. That was very tough on both of us. On her hen night, after we'd been to York for the day and I'd arranged for her (then) fiancé to come up and surprise her at the pub, we both sat at the bar and it finally, not just hit us but, punched and kicked us, that this was it. She wasn't going to be a 2 minute walk away any more, she'd be about 3 hours away. If I wanted to nip out for the day with my best friend and go to bakewell or just fancied a catch up in Costa, I couldn't text and get a reply of 'I'll pick you up in 10 minutes', it would be 'I'll see you in a couple of weeks and we can do something.' We sat at the bar together and didn't just cry, we sobbed. Her fiancé then told us to go to the toilets and sort ourselves out (In a nice way... not like, you're embarrassing me, go and sort yourselves out!) and we then sobbed for another 10 minutes while hugging each other. 12 years of memories with someone, all flooding back and spilling out your eyes, it's painful! Not because it's bad memories, but because they're so good you don't want to stop making more like it. When someone's in front of you for that long, you take them for granted and don't really think about the times you've had together because you're too busy making more plans with them but when it hits you that they're not going to be around as much any more, you remember every single little thing you did together. From the first time you met, to all the sleepovers and days out, holidays together, just hanging out at each others houses, playing in the garden... and then boom! You're an adult and your best friend is getting married and moving away and eventually going to start building a family.
In April she got married and I don't think I've ever been more proud of her and happy for her. It was the best day of our friendship and I was honoured to be her chief bridesmaid and watch her marry the love of her life. Now that she's moved and she's settled and starting a family with her husband and their dog, the quote 'True friendship isn't about being inseparable, it's about being separated and nothing changes' has never seemed so true. Yes, we're miles and miles away from each other but we call and text and see each other when she comes back so being able to be so far from each other but still make the effort to speak and see each other, that right there, is true friendship.

My other best friend is completely different from her but she's become like a sister to me. Another big part to a true friendship is looking after each other and caring about each other to the point where you'd put them before yourself. You know when people say 'I don't care what time of the day or night it is, if you need me then call me.' Most of the time they don't mean it and if you call them at 3 in the morning, they won't answer. With us, when we say that, we mean it. She called me at 3 in the morning the other week because she needed me and that was it, I couldn't sleep then until I knew she was home safe. The day she was in a serious car accident, other than her dad and the emergency services, I was the first person she called. When someone comes to you like that, you know you mean a lot to them and they trust you.
When you're upset or angry, you need someone in your life that will make you forget why you were upset and angry in the first place and Fern is that someone. If I call her in tears, she'll drop what she's doing and either meet me or she'll talk to me until I stop crying and I'll do the same for her as well. Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom with us! We've got one of those friendships where you can look at each other and with that one glance, you know what they're thinking. A cute guy walks past and one look or a smile and we're in agreement. We're at the cinema and a trailer comes on and one look with a raised eyebrow... what a joke! We're not going to see that! And when we laugh... oh boy do we laugh!!! You know you've got a best friend when you'll find the same things absolutely hilarious but you'll try to tell someone else and they just won't get it at all. You won't just laugh at something once when it happens, something else will happen and remind you of that event and you'll both laugh hysterically about it all over again.

When you can really go through the ups and downs with someone; see them at their worst, when they're angry and upset and acting like a completely different person but then see them at their best and cry with laughter and get excited about things with them, that is when you know you have a true friend. When you can go weeks and weeks without talking or seeing each other but then as soon as you do, it's like those weeks apart never existed. Someone who will protect you and be there for you, giving you advice and tough love when you need it most. Someone who will do things they hate to do, just because they know it'll make you happy. They'll plan surprises for you, just to see the look on your face and that light in your eyes.
When you realise that you've found your soul mate, you can't help thinking that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. That living without them would be unthinkable. Some people marry their soul mate and they become husband and wife. Others, keep them by their side as their best friend.